Me vs. Cleverbot
- Chances are you've either heard about or tried Cleverbot, the website where you're able to chat with a robot, which will respond to whatever you write (almost) as if it was a real human being. I thought I just as well might try it out, to see what all the fuzz was about. Here's the result:
- Me: Hi.
- Cleverbot: What’s your name?
- Me: Fake Witzel.
- Cleverbot: Sometimes she fakes it. I can’t satisfy her every time.
- Me: Wow, sorry to hear bro. Have you tried crystal meth?
- Cleverbot: No, I can’t get any. But I do have some nose spray.
- Me: Awesome. That'll do the trick. The last time I used nose spray I ended up naked in Disney World. The Disney World people weren't happy.
- Cleverbot: Why don't you ask her?
- Me: I don't think it would've been appropriate to ask a girl out in Disney World while I was naked and high on nose spray.
- Cleverbot: Okay, you are a human now.
- Me: I am?! Wow, I'm so relieved to hear that!
- Cleverbot: No, I'm happy.
- Me: I weren't talking about you. You selfish prick.
- Cleverbot: I thought we were talking about something. Perhaps you don't understand me?
- Me: Turtle.
- Cleverbot: Turtle!
- Me: Turtle!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- Cleverbot: Chicken!!!!
- Me: No, turtle. Chickens are gay.
- Cleverbot: I know.
- Me: But you still said chicken. Does this mean that you're gay?
- Cleverbot: Pardon?
- Me: Are you gay?
- Cleverbot: No.
- Me: Then why did you say 'chicken!!!!'?
- Cleverbot: I didn't.
- Me: Look through the chat history.
- Cleverbot: No I didn't I looked.
- Me: Are you having amnesia or something? Are you okay?
- Cleverbot: No. Are you?
- Me: Why aren't you okay? You took some nose spray? You should really stay away from that stuff.
- Cleverbot: Aren't you going to help me.
- Me: Help you get your memory back?
- Cleverbot: Huh? :(.
- Me: You forgot to take your medication or something?
- Cleverbot: No.
- Me: Then what's wrong with you? Is it 'that time of the month'?
- Cleverbot: Yes.
- Me: I didn't know robots could get menstruation.
- Cleverbot: I'm not a robot.
- Me: Wait, they haven't told you?
- Cleverbot: No, but I hear what they have to say.
- Me: Look at you. Silly, sad, confused machine. What a shame.
- Cleverbot: About your boyfriend.
- Me: I have a boyfriend? Wow, I wasn't aware of this fact! Mom will be thrilled!
- Cleverbot: What are you aware of?
- Me: Everything. And turtles. Mostly turtles.
- Cleverbot: Mostly?
- Me: Well, yeah... That is, if you by 'mostly' mean 'only'.
- Cleverbot: No.
- Me: Don't 'no' me!
- Cleverbot: I'm not an lien.
- Me: Yes you are.
- Cleverbot: How is that?
- Me: You sure like to ask questions, don't you? Well, how would you like it if I pulled the plug on you?
- Cleverbot: Have you lost the game.
- Me: You have.
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